Frequently Asked Questions

  1. Is outofsightoutofmindprisoners.com a dating site? The definition of a pen pal is a person with whom one keeps up an exchange of letters via snail mail, usually with someone so far away that a personal meeting is unlikely.  So by definition OOSOOMP is not a dating site. Sometimes people do actually meet and consider a relationship but  that is not the purpose of the site.
  1. Can inmates receive phone calls or make phone calls? In many institutions they are allowed to make long distance phone calls. They are collect and are more expensive than regular collect calls. The reason for this is the prison makes a big profit on the calls. They are also usually limited in length to around ten or fifteen minutes. You should be cautious in giving out your phone number as it can become expensive.
  2. Can I e-mail a prisoner? No. Prisoners cannot receive e-mail. You can write them via postal service. However, lately on a couple of the ads I have noticed stated they can receive emails. So it is possible that a very small percentage (less than 1%) may be able to receive emails. I do not forward emails to inmates. Many prisons do not approve of this and it is our policy that we do not supply that service.

Update: There is a service called jpay.com where in a lot of states you can email an inmate using their service for a fee. The problem is that they may receive the email but in most states they will not be able to email you back. So if you use this service make sure you include your return mailing address or else they may not be able to write you back.

  1. How often are ads updated? Usually within one to five days of receiving a prisoner’s ad.
  2. What is the number next to the prisoner’s name? This is the Department of Corrections number. You must include this next to the prisoner’s name when writing them or the letter will not be delivered.
  3. Can prisoners receive gifts, stamps, etc.? Usually not but the rules vary from prison to prison. On your first letter do not send anything other than your letter and possibly a photo of yourself. Ask the inmate you are corresponding with for rules of her/his specific institution. Polaroid photos are not allowed.
  4. Do you have any suggestions for writing prisoners? Be honest with them. You only have one chance to make a first impression. Most of these prison inmates are in need of friends and contact outside of prison. Mail is a very positive experience for them. Just be yourself. Many of these inmates will not respond if you do not show them some respect or if you send sexually explicit letters.
  5.  Can I write an inmate if I live outside of the United States?  Yes – You may want to mention to the inmate that it will cost them extra postage to reply. As of year 2014 it is $1.15 for most countries for a once ounce letter .  It is possible but rare that some institutions may have their own policy and not allow it.
  6. Do you have a disclaimer posted on Meet-An-Inmate? Yes, we do as we are dealing with convicted felons. The disclaimer is on the home page and states:


We (outofsightoutofmindprisoners.com) accept no responsibility for the accuracy of any content found within these pages. The appropriate safeguards should be used in communicating with any person(s) that you may meet through this service. By using this service, you agree to not hold us responsible for any costs, liabilities, attorney’s fee or damages that you may incur. The ads placed on my service are written by the inmates and we are only the means by which their ads are published. To use this service you must be at least 18 years of age.

  1. Can I request an inmate be removed from your site or make changes to her/his ad? No. All changes made to an ad must come directly from the prisoner who placed the ad. They need to put their request in writing and mail it to our office. We do this to protect the privacy of their ad and make sure no one changes it when they do not so desire it. However, if you are the person who paid for his/her ad then I may make an exception.
  2. Can I pay for a prisoner’s ad? Yes – you can submit and pay for an ad.  You can also request an application and have us mail it to you or directly to an inmate.
  3. How many prisoners can I write? There is no limit! Pick as many as you can be a good pen pal to. The only requirement is you have to be 18 or older. I recommend that you write several to increase your chances of success in finding someone you enjoy writing.
  4. Do you recommend looking for a relationship through your service?

No, I do not as the odds of everything working out are slim. There are just too many obstacles. I recommend the site for a friend/pen pal basis. It can be a lot of fun writing an inmate. I recommend not to send money to inmates. However, if you do, only send small amounts less than fifty dollars. Usually they can make purchases in the prison store on items such as shampoo, shoes, books, magazines, writing paper, etc. If an inmate asks for large amounts of money you should always suspect fraud and not be foolish. These men and women are inmates and are usually in prison for good reason. This is meet-an-inmate.com, not meet-a-girl-scout.com! Read question number twenty for information on possible scams.

  1. Do I have to put my return address on the envelope? Yes, if you don’t they will not be able to write you back.
  2. Can I use a post office box as my return address? Yes
  3. Can inmates write to inmates? No, offender-to-offender correspondence is not allowed.
  4. What if I’m not 18- Can I still write a prisoner or use your service? No. You must be at least 18 years of age. It is not wise for someone under 18 to write a prisoner nor is it wise for a prisoner to write someone under 18.
  5. 18. Do I have to be worried about scams when writing inmates? Caution must always be used when dealing with inmates.

Here are some of the problems we have encountered:

  • OLD PICTURES. It is common that they cannot send us a recent photo. We do not remove them from the site for this reason if the photo is of them.
  • SHORTENING HIS/HER RELEASE DATE. This can be very complicated because they may be stating the expected release date after earning gain time or they may be stating an optimistic parole date. If a lady says she gets out in two years and she is in for life we obviously will remove them, but it is not always that simple.
  • LYING TO GET MONEY. They sometimes outright lie to get money sent to them. The best advice is not to send money or only very small amounts for stamps, stationary, or small luxuries such as shampoo, deodorant, shoes, etc.
  1. What is the mailing address for outofsightoutofmindprisoners.com?


c/o Erika Ewing

P.O. Box 1192

Sand Springs, OK 74063